I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
