he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
