All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
