i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
