I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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