we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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