we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
