I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
