Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
