24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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