I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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