she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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