im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize