Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
