Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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