Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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