if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
