im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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