We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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