Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think weed is turning my hair brown
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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