you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
