i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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