dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
