I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
