I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
