to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
