I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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