Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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