so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
