suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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