thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize