That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
