I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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