He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
