Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
