so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They have beer where we have blood.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
