What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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