We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
