Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
