I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
