Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
