I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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