walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
