why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
