I got chris browned last night
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
