I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize