I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
