I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
