but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
