You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
