Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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