I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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