You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
