You really coming over, don't trick.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
