Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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