I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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