I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize