Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
