Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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