i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize