oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
