She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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