he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
