i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
