seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
