So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
