am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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