Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
