jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
