Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
