sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
